The Sexual Revolution And Consensual Rape Unitarian Universalist Style - What's The Connection?
For some years now, Rev. Daniel Harper, the Assistant Minister of Religious Education at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Palo Alto, California (UUCPA), has been looking for documentary evidence about the way the sexual revolution played out in The U*U Movement aka Unitarian Universalism from the late 1960s through the early 1980s. (TEA's note: Why stop there?) Rev. Dan Harper has LOTS of anecdotal evidence, stories told to him by U*U Souls who saw, or in a few cases experienced first-hand, the “open marriages,” the “wife-swapping,” the sex games, etc., (TEA's note: Why stop there?) that took place in Unitarian Universalist congregations and other Unitarian Universalist organizations such as camps (TEA's note: Like SUUSI perhaps?) and conference centers. (TEA's note: Surely not at Unitarian Universalist Ministers Convocations aka UUMA CONVO and UUA GAs?! Oops! Shouldn't have asked *that* Big Fat U*U Question. . .) These decades-old memories (TEA's note: To say *nothing* of much more recent U*U memories. . .) are of definite historical interest to The Emerson Avenger, but documentary evidence is also essential to a fuller historical understanding of this Big Fat U*U Topic.
Recently, Rev. Daniel Harper realized that he had *one* such document, which he had uncovered a dozen years ago when he was working on a contract with the Unitarian Universalist Association’s (UUA aka U*U eh?) Youth Office to write a training manual for youth advisors, and TEA will plagU*Urize it in full here. Part of Rev. Dan's "research" involved poring through the historical archives of the Unitarian Universalist youth movement aka the youth movement of The U*U Movement. At that time, those archives were stored in the basement of the UUA’s Boston headquarters (Rev. Daniel Harper has heard rumors that some of that archival material aka documentary *evidence* has since been destroyed aka "memory holed". . .) (TEA's note: Why am I not surprised?), and Rev. CrankyPants made copies of some of the Big Fat U*U Records so that he could work on them at home. One of those documents he was working with was the last issue of People Soup, the old newspaper of Liberal Religious Youth aka LRY, and it contained this essay:
Consensual “Rape” Unitarian*Universalist Style by Jennifer Brett* -
I was originally going to write this paper on how many women are raped and then don’t do anything about it because of humiliation or because they know the courts make it very hard to prove anything. But when I started to talk to people I know in LRY about it, two things came into light: first, that quite a number of us had been raped by people outside of LRY; and second, that even more of us have been raped within LRY, but have not thought of it as such. (TEA's note: Perhaps because that "rape" wasn't *really* rape?) It seems that someone will, say, be giving someone else a massage, and that massage will get more and more intense until suddenly the person receiving the massage will find him/herself in a sexual situation aka Happy Ending. (TEA's note: Such as having an orgasm perhaps?) The person giving the massage. (sic) The person giving the massage simply assumed that when the other person of inherent worth and dignity said s/he would love a massage, they meant they would like to go to bed with him/her. (How “massage” equals “sex” is something I still don’t understand.) (TEA's note: Didn't they have “massage” parlours in the early 1980's? Surely a free and responsible search for the Truth and *meaning* of the term "massage parlour" *could* have resulted in Jennifer Brett understanding how “massage” *could* more or less equal “sex”.) One of two things usually happens next: either the one receiving the massage will excuse him/herself from the situation (possibly by falling asleep – the ultimate putdown.), (TEA's note: So just why is the massagee falling asleep the "ultimate putdown"?) or s/he will give in to the peer-pressure and the LRY stigma and let it *ride*. When I’ve asked these people why, they usually reply that they felt miserable in the situation, but they would have felt like a real ass if they said no.
Another type of rape that occures in LRY is when a former lover thinks everything is still “peaches and cream”. Sometimes h/she will begin stripping his/her former partner without even considering that anything new might have come up. The situation gets really bad when the one was sleeping by him/herself and still cares for the first.
So what is it that makes this type of rape so permissable? (TEA's note: So what is it that makes Jennifer Brett characterize apparently consensual sex following an apparently sensual massage as rape? What would she think about *this* type of consensual rape, and the fact that it seems to be permitted in the 21st Century U*U World?) Is it something to do with LRY? Or does it have to do with society as a whole? I think it is some of both. The “sexual revolution” has changed the way society looks at sex. I, myself, used to think I had to have a good sexual experience to prove that I loved somebody. And I’ve found others who think that way. But LRY’s community spirit, the giving and wanting and needing and finding have amplified this attitude. When some people say they want a massage, they do mean they want to go to bed with you. It is one of those handy LRY come-ons. (You know, like “I forgot to bring my sleeping bag, can I share yours?”) I think it’s about time we understand that rape has become a part of LRY, and an accepted part as well. And it’s also time we do something about it. I don’t have any quick solutions. Maybe if people begin to talk to each other about what they think instead of telling tall stories about irrelevent things, many of the problems we have might evaporate.
People Soup, July, 1982, vol. X, issue II (Boston: Liberal Religious Youth Inc.), p. 5. Original spelling, punctuation, and typographical errors retained.
Rev. Daniel Harper *and* The Emerson Avenger would LOVE to hear from you if you have any documentary evidence on the sexual revolution within Unitarian Universalism that you could pass along; or if you have any anecdotes you are able to share.
* Not to be confU*Used with 'Consensual Rape Unitarian*Universalist Style' by U*U BDSM Dom Desmond Ravenstone. . .
Recently, Rev. Daniel Harper realized that he had *one* such document, which he had uncovered a dozen years ago when he was working on a contract with the Unitarian Universalist Association’s (UUA aka U*U eh?) Youth Office to write a training manual for youth advisors, and TEA will plagU*Urize it in full here. Part of Rev. Dan's "research" involved poring through the historical archives of the Unitarian Universalist youth movement aka the youth movement of The U*U Movement. At that time, those archives were stored in the basement of the UUA’s Boston headquarters (Rev. Daniel Harper has heard rumors that some of that archival material aka documentary *evidence* has since been destroyed aka "memory holed". . .) (TEA's note: Why am I not surprised?), and Rev. CrankyPants made copies of some of the Big Fat U*U Records so that he could work on them at home. One of those documents he was working with was the last issue of People Soup, the old newspaper of Liberal Religious Youth aka LRY, and it contained this essay:
Consensual “Rape” Unitarian*Universalist Style by Jennifer Brett* -
I was originally going to write this paper on how many women are raped and then don’t do anything about it because of humiliation or because they know the courts make it very hard to prove anything. But when I started to talk to people I know in LRY about it, two things came into light: first, that quite a number of us had been raped by people outside of LRY; and second, that even more of us have been raped within LRY, but have not thought of it as such. (TEA's note: Perhaps because that "rape" wasn't *really* rape?) It seems that someone will, say, be giving someone else a massage, and that massage will get more and more intense until suddenly the person receiving the massage will find him/herself in a sexual situation aka Happy Ending. (TEA's note: Such as having an orgasm perhaps?) The person giving the massage. (sic) The person giving the massage simply assumed that when the other person of inherent worth and dignity said s/he would love a massage, they meant they would like to go to bed with him/her. (How “massage” equals “sex” is something I still don’t understand.) (TEA's note: Didn't they have “massage” parlours in the early 1980's? Surely a free and responsible search for the Truth and *meaning* of the term "massage parlour" *could* have resulted in Jennifer Brett understanding how “massage” *could* more or less equal “sex”.) One of two things usually happens next: either the one receiving the massage will excuse him/herself from the situation (possibly by falling asleep – the ultimate putdown.), (TEA's note: So just why is the massagee falling asleep the "ultimate putdown"?) or s/he will give in to the peer-pressure and the LRY stigma and let it *ride*. When I’ve asked these people why, they usually reply that they felt miserable in the situation, but they would have felt like a real ass if they said no.
Another type of rape that occures in LRY is when a former lover thinks everything is still “peaches and cream”. Sometimes h/she will begin stripping his/her former partner without even considering that anything new might have come up. The situation gets really bad when the one was sleeping by him/herself and still cares for the first.
So what is it that makes this type of rape so permissable? (TEA's note: So what is it that makes Jennifer Brett characterize apparently consensual sex following an apparently sensual massage as rape? What would she think about *this* type of consensual rape, and the fact that it seems to be permitted in the 21st Century U*U World?) Is it something to do with LRY? Or does it have to do with society as a whole? I think it is some of both. The “sexual revolution” has changed the way society looks at sex. I, myself, used to think I had to have a good sexual experience to prove that I loved somebody. And I’ve found others who think that way. But LRY’s community spirit, the giving and wanting and needing and finding have amplified this attitude. When some people say they want a massage, they do mean they want to go to bed with you. It is one of those handy LRY come-ons. (You know, like “I forgot to bring my sleeping bag, can I share yours?”) I think it’s about time we understand that rape has become a part of LRY, and an accepted part as well. And it’s also time we do something about it. I don’t have any quick solutions. Maybe if people begin to talk to each other about what they think instead of telling tall stories about irrelevent things, many of the problems we have might evaporate.
People Soup, July, 1982, vol. X, issue II (Boston: Liberal Religious Youth Inc.), p. 5. Original spelling, punctuation, and typographical errors retained.
Rev. Daniel Harper *and* The Emerson Avenger would LOVE to hear from you if you have any documentary evidence on the sexual revolution within Unitarian Universalism that you could pass along; or if you have any anecdotes you are able to share.
* Not to be confU*Used with 'Consensual Rape Unitarian*Universalist Style' by U*U BDSM Dom Desmond Ravenstone. . .
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